textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
