She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
