so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We have started to decorate penises.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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