I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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