I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
