so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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