Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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