trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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