it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
