god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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