good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
