Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
