dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
