A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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