i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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