So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
