Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
