conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
