Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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