singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
