Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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