So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
