i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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