Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
