There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
should my penis look like a turkey
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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