3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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