i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
