that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
