i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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