Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
