There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
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I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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