Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
