The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
