I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
