I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
