I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he thought i was a dude.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
