Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she smelled like a LAN party
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
