so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
