At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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