Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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