you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
