The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
