honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
