i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish you could order shots online.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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