Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
