I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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