you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
