I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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