If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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