so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
