uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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