Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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