it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
