Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
