now i know why i became what i already was.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
