theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
