Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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