I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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