so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
