you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
