my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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