i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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