i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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