:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
