no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize