'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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