no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
