If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
