Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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