How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
