I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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