the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
