I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
